Nothing Is Sacred

Becky's Take on Life, Love, Motherhood and Other Random Stuff

Further Adventures in Dating July 6, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Becky @ 2:09 am
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Honestly, you can’t make this stuff up.

I cancelled my subscription to the online dating site several months ago, yet I continue to get emails from them with the “blank silhouette photo” and enticing words like “meet Joe- is he the one you’re looking for?” Of course, this is all an attempt to get me to sign back up and pay some ridiculously astronomical membership fee. I think not.

So, whilst sifting through my email this morning I find that I am, once again, being wooed by a faceless man. “Meet John*- he could be that someone special.” I glance down and see that John* is 43, lives in the OKC area, is 5’10” (here comes the part you can’t make up) and a maintenance man at a pig farm. Uh huh.

I am all for honesty when filling out your online profiles, but I believe if that was my job I would lie, at least until I got the girl to go on a few dates with me. If it seemed like she liked me and wanted to see more of me, then I would drop the bomb on her. “Honey, I  like you, so I want to tell you what I really do for a living. I am the janitor over at Bill’s Pig Farm.” If she doesn’t run screaming into the night, it’s true love. But, I’m going to be up front with you John*, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a woman say her dream man worked down on the pig farm.

Hey, the guy has a job, and it sounds like an honest living (if not a particularly clean one), but maybe he could fancy up that description a bit.  “Chief Engineer of Swine Habitation” makes the job sound a bit more palatable. Not to mention sounding a lot less like he’s got 3 teeth in his head and reeks of pig poo at the end of the day.

Have you noticed the ads that say things like “Meet Catholic Singles,” “Meet Single Dads,” “Meet Christian Singles,” etc. ? And have you noticed how all the men in those ads are particularly good looking? Women look at them and think “Hot Damn! I could snag me a good-looking, rich (Catholic, Christian, single dad) guy if I join this website. Ha, ha and double ha!

Don’t be fooled ladies. When you get to the website and sign up and of course pay to be able to see pictures, you are going to be sorely disappointed. Why? Because there are no single, good-looking men trying to find true love on these sites. It’s the same guy with a plug of chaw in his cheek and a job as a pig farmer that is on every other dating site you’ve visited.

 

This Is No Pleasure Cruise March 5, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Becky @ 11:43 pm
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If you’ve come here to read about the joys of motherhood, the warm, fuzzy moments of parenting, the aha! moments that make each day brighter, run far and run fast.

Even as I am writing, I have an almost-nine-year-old boy who is raging around his room because I had the nerve to take his Nintendo DS away when he hit his sister while they were playing. I am an abomination among mothers, because, as he explained to me during his rant, if I loved him, I would know that he hit his sister on “accident.”

So, I am the worst mother ever. I am a divorced mom with a son who will be turning 9 next week, and a 10 1/2 year old daughter with more attitude than Mike Tyson. Fortunately, the kids have a really great dad to make up for my shortcomings in the mommy department.

My marriage wasn’t my first failure in the relationship sector of life. And a brief investigation into the merits of a dating site convinced me that the only available men in my part of the country wear camouflage and think that dead animal heads constitute interior decoration– or at least their photos would lead you to believe that. Alas, I’m not interested in dating Jed Clampett, so I remain unattached.

This is real life. It’s not pretty. It’s complicated, messy, and can turn you into a raging lunatic. Your only option is not to take it too seriously. I maintain that laughter is much healthier for you than tears.