Honestly, you can’t make this stuff up.
I cancelled my subscription to the online dating site several months ago, yet I continue to get emails from them with the “blank silhouette photo” and enticing words like “meet Joe- is he the one you’re looking for?” Of course, this is all an attempt to get me to sign back up and pay some ridiculously astronomical membership fee. I think not.
So, whilst sifting through my email this morning I find that I am, once again, being wooed by a faceless man. “Meet John*- he could be that someone special.” I glance down and see that John* is 43, lives in the OKC area, is 5’10” (here comes the part you can’t make up) and a maintenance man at a pig farm. Uh huh.
I am all for honesty when filling out your online profiles, but I believe if that was my job I would lie, at least until I got the girl to go on a few dates with me. If it seemed like she liked me and wanted to see more of me, then I would drop the bomb on her. “Honey, I like you, so I want to tell you what I really do for a living. I am the janitor over at Bill’s Pig Farm.” If she doesn’t run screaming into the night, it’s true love. But, I’m going to be up front with you John*, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a woman say her dream man worked down on the pig farm.
Hey, the guy has a job, and it sounds like an honest living (if not a particularly clean one), but maybe he could fancy up that description a bit. “Chief Engineer of Swine Habitation” makes the job sound a bit more palatable. Not to mention sounding a lot less like he’s got 3 teeth in his head and reeks of pig poo at the end of the day.
Have you noticed the ads that say things like “Meet Catholic Singles,” “Meet Single Dads,” “Meet Christian Singles,” etc. ? And have you noticed how all the men in those ads are particularly good looking? Women look at them and think “Hot Damn! I could snag me a good-looking, rich (Catholic, Christian, single dad) guy if I join this website. Ha, ha and double ha!
Don’t be fooled ladies. When you get to the website and sign up and of course pay to be able to see pictures, you are going to be sorely disappointed. Why? Because there are no single, good-looking men trying to find true love on these sites. It’s the same guy with a plug of chaw in his cheek and a job as a pig farmer that is on every other dating site you’ve visited.