Sure, he looks all cute, sorrowful and snuggly laying there on my (oops!) unmade bed, but don’t be deceived– he was sent by Al Qaeda to terrorize my home. He has earned the nickname “Osocksma bin Beagle” for his efforts.
He belongs to my ex, but spends an extended amount of time here since an apartment is too confining for his nefarious activities. At this point I should mention that the doctor said it would be great for my ex to have a dog– it would get him out walking and getting exercise. He has gained 8 lbs and cracked 2 ribs while chasing the runaway beagle boy.
In the time Socks has spent here he has managed to chew up 2 of my Christmas Santas and a tree ornament. He has destroyed countless wrappers, containers, a sturdy plastic bowl, and several treat bags the kids got from school– including the pencils! On my dining room table was a box of peanut crunch awaiting gift wrapping. Socks looked at it as an afternoon snack, pulled it off of the table and enjoyed it, box and all.
Unfortunately for Socks, he isn’t the brightest light in the harbor. (But he is a shining beacon in the bay of stupidity.) He pulled a glass baking dish off the stovetop and proceeded to try and eat the meatloaf off the broken glass. He has eaten numerous things that would have done a lesser dog in, including a large bag of Splenda. This was a meal after his previous week’s appetizer of a partial bag of Splenda brown sugar substitute. We have learned now to put these things back in the cabinet immediately, or at least push them far enough back on the counter that he can’t reach them.
Socks did show a moment of brilliance on Monday morning. He managed to escape through the garage door and head out for a neighborhood adventure. I was willing to let him go, but I had a very upset little boy, so we headed out to look for him. When we finally caught up with him, he was following the barking of some fenced dogs. Z11 hopped out to get him and he started to run, but wait, there was a standard poodle that had to be at least 4 foot off the ground, staring him down. Socks contemplated this marvel with the big, fluffy ball on his tail, then looked at Z, looked back at the Amazon-sized dog and practically leapt into Z’s arms. Good going Socks!

